Messages reveal childhood struggles: ‘Scold me less, hug me more’
Over 2,000 anonymous confessions collected for a Hong Kong exhibition reveal emotional pressures on children, with low self-esteem and family conflicts cited as leading causes of unhappiness, surpassing academic stress.
More than 2,000 anonymous messages reflecting on childhood struggles have shed light on the emotional pressures faced by young people in Hong Kong, with many expressing a desire for greater affection and understanding from their parents. The messages were collected for an emotional healing exhibition titled “Unhappy Confessions,” organised by art and psychological therapy group Not a Gallery at Eslite Bookstore in Causeway Bay earlier this month.
Among the handwritten messages were pleas such as “Scold me less, hug me more” and “Give me a hug,” prompting online discussions about children’s emotional needs and mental health. According to statistics cited by the organiser, low self-esteem and feelings of being criticised were the leading reasons students felt unhappy, accounting for more than 50 per cent of responses.
Family conflicts and parental expectations ranked second, at around 45 per cent, while academic pressure, including public examinations and grades, accounted for approximately 40 per cent. The findings suggest that emotional struggles and family relationships may weigh more heavily on students than academic pressure alone.
One 10-year-old student described being troubled by homework, revision, tutorial classes and arguments between their parents, expressing a simple wish for others to “scold me less and hug me more.” A 15-year-old also wrote about struggling to understand the meaning of love, saying that although they knew their mother loved them, they could not feel it and simply wished she would “give me a hug.”
A 19-year-old described feeling like a puzzle that could never fit together properly, yet whose pieces were constantly forced into place while they competed with others. “I feel like a puzzle that can never fit together properly, but people keep forcing the pieces into place. I have to keep racing against others. It’s crazy and exhausting. Please leave me alone!” the teenager wrote.
Adults also shared painful childhood memories. One described growing up as “the process of turning the volume of crying down to silent,” while another compared it to collecting trauma like stamps. Jovy Hau, founder of Focus Education Group, said visiting the “Unhappy Confessions” exhibition had struck a chord with her, reminding her of the pressure and unhappiness she had observed among children. “Sometimes, adults assume children are too young to understand or that they will simply get over things. But children have feelings too, and even if they cannot put those feelings into words, it does not mean they are not hurting. Sometimes, what they need most is simply for someone to listen and take their feelings seriously,” she said.